BRAINSTEW

Even when you

were at your worst,

and I cut my hands

wide open

from picking up

your broken pieces,

I still loved you.


Connotativewords | jl | Even More (via connotativewords)

(via mockingdream)

6/24/2014

one day, i hope to tell my grandchildren, “we met in a movie theater, and i would say it was love at first sight, if i believed in such things.”

6/3/14

i’m so fucking homesick for you.

5/24/14

i’m regressing into my former self.

the depression is back in full force. i don’t want to go anywhere or do anything anymore, nothing sounds appealing. i feel like a hollow shell.

i’m having a hard time connecting with the people i love. it’s so difficult, being so far away and trying to stay in the loop, trying to keep them interested in me. i can’t stop worrying that one day, every one of them will forget me or find a reason to stop caring.

i don’t talk to anyone. not even my family, really. i have zero connections at work, and i think that’s why i hate it so much. it wouldn’t be so bad if i had a friend or two to break the monotony. but i’m too fucking scared of rejection to even attempt a conversation.

happiness seems so far away. i’m having doubts even about when i move back. where should i live? where will i work? what if i just end up in the exact same situation as before?

it’s terrifying. it keeps me up at night.

i need to get out of the house and stop being such a hermit. i need to reconnect with the people in my life, and make new connections as well. i know i can do it, it’s just about finding the motivation.

fucking anxiety, just go away and let me live my life.

4/27/14

i miss him more than words can say.